Instilling Self Confidence in Boys

Despite advances in gender differences, boys are still very much taught that they need to be strong, not show emotions, never be vulnerable, and a host of other behaviors that can make them feel isolated from others. When boys feel they have no outlets and ways to express themselves, they can lose confidence in themselves and have lower self-esteem. This can have detrimental outcomes, as boys seek ways to feel better about themselves. This could be getting involved with others who are not the positive influences desired, or acting out in negative ways that lead to them getting in trouble in school or elsewhere. As boys age, their self-confidence tends to improve; however, if they are involved in activities and detrimental behaviors at a young age, this may well carry into the teen years, when the outcomes can be much more serious. What can you do, as a parent or influence, to foster a healthy self-confidence in young boys?

First, be sure that you are available. If boys know they have someone to talk to who will not laugh at them for expressing their feelings and fears, they will be more likely to take advantage of this. Young boys may have friends who they can talk to, but these boys have also been taught or shown that expressing emotions is unmanly, and that fears are something to be laughed at. This can result in devastating feelings of rejection and loss of self worth among peers. Therefore, be sure to provide a safe place and ways for boys to express themselves.

Also show boys that it is okay to express emotions. This does not mean that the men in their lives need to be overly sensitive or constantly crying, but displaying a healthy amount of emotion is a positive thing, both for the adult and for the boys who witness it. Displays of appropriate emotion are important to a boy's sense of self-worth. For example, boys who witness men being stoic and showing little or no emotion during times of high emotional stress may become very confused. A death in the family is one such example. The boy will understandably be feeling sadness, emptiness, and a host of other emotions. However, if he witnesses the adult men in the family appearing unaffected, this can create a lot of confusion. This can also make a young boy doubt his own emotions, which are perfectly natural and normal in such a situation. Yet, from what he witnesses, he may conclude that he is abnormal, which can lead to a loss of self-esteem and confidence.

Help boys find what they're good at and encourage it. Not all boys are going to be fabulous at sports or other traditionally "male" activities, and this is okay. If he is good at sports, that's great. But also encourage boys to try a variety of activities and interests to see which ones fit and which do not. If a boy loves reading, for example, do not chastise him for this. If he is made to feel unworthy for pursuing interests, he can translate this into feeling that he as a person is not important, and this is definitely not something you want to have happen. Particularly for boys, activities and external pursuits are often seen as a direct reflection of who they are as people. Encourage boys to feel good about who they are, not just what they do.

As boys learn healthy ways to express themselves, follow their interests, and have a strong support system, they will be much better able to build a strong foundation for a lifetime of confidence. Making it through the teenage years will be easier (not easy, but easier), as will the transition to adulthood. Start early to help young boys to develop a strong sense of self to help them become positive role models for the next generation.

Print

Cornerstones of Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is something that all of us need if we have to do well in life. It gives us the courage to face the most difficult of situations, something which cannot be said of people who lack self-confidence. They often break down in front of challenges.

The question, however, is how do you achieve self-confidence? You can do so if you define your tasks, and priorities, correctly. You then need to ask yourself as to how you can accomplish these tasks. A good strategy is to break your goals into smaller tasks. This makes the main task seem less daunting. You then need to pat yourself every time you reach a milestone. This increases your self-confidence, and makes it easy for you to achieve your goals.

You also need to look at the image that you have of yourself. If you don’t have a good image of yourself, and are always running yourself down, then your chances of being successful are minimal. Your self image or what you believe about yourself can be hurt easily if you blame yourself for any setback in your life like a business failure, loss of a job or a divorce. So, avoid self-flagellation. It feeds on your negative thoughts, and can easily become a monster. You need to write off your failures, and plan for new challenges. This is a positive approach to adopt, and can shore up your shaky self-confidence.

Those who are close to you play an important role in shaping your self-confidence. If they happen to critical or negative, they will have a negative impact on your self-confidence. Your priority should be to distance yourself from such people, and find friends and supporters who are imbued with a positive outlook. Without your knowing, they will add to your self-confidence.

Another issue that matters is your reaction to the events in your life. You should consider yourself a unique person who has his own special place in the world. This will lead to a development of positive attitudes, beliefs and values, qualities that can give you the self-confidence to succeed against all odds. However, there is an inherent danger in such a world-view. You may become too over-confident, and stop listening to what the others say. Don’t allow this to happen. Listen to all criticism, filter out the points that can make you a better individual; junk the rest. This constant course correction will make you a better individual.

At the same time, you need to monitor your internal dialogue. You must talk yourself into believing that you can take up any reasonable assignment. This will drive away negative attitudes and beliefs, and add to your self-confidence..

In fact, the picture you have of yourself needs constant monitoring and care. You cannot afford to let it take care of itself. Your self-confidence, happiness and success depends on it. You need to guard against selling yourself short. Don’t underestimate yourself and prevent feelings of inferiority from creeping in. Aim high and feel that you are capable of achieving anything you choose. Write down how you would like to see yourself five or ten years from now.

Make a list of your strong points, the things you do well and the compliments you receive. Write down a few of the things about yourself, which you think need improvement. Think of yourself as a self-confident person and act as if you are very self-confident, even if you don’t feel that way. Try to keep negative attitudes and beliefs away from yourself and maintain a safe distance from negative and destructive people.

If you take responsibility for your life and practice these methods regularly, your self-confidence will rise. What’s more, it will remain high.

Print

Computer Skills Self Confidence

This phenomenal technology revolution we have found ourselves a part of is sweeping the world at an alarmingly fast rate. Quite suddenly, everyday tasks we have completed without the help of technology now require the latest and fastest technology to enable the task. This great advancement in all technical fields has made the most process in the field of computers. Today’s computers are small and light enough to fit into the palm of your hand, whereas the behemoths a couple of decades ago were giant systems with monstrous proportions. Everything now seems to run off batteries and is so tiny we can fit it in our pocket. It is no surprise many individuals have seemed unable to cooperate with these advancements simply because they lack the skills necessary to successfully operate a computer or a software program. Instead of hiding from this daily advancement of technology, build your self confidence in a computer skills program.

Learning even basic computer skills will allow you to access and run operations and programs on a personal computer or Apple’s Mac. If you are completely unfamiliar with a computer, consider enrolling in an introductory course at your local college or community college. These institutions offer individuals the opportunity to learn vital facts about a computer and be able to make the necessary repairs to your system. This class is to be taken with the extreme seriousness and should not be entered into lightly. If you are unable to attend a community college, be sure to check with your year’s prefects in order to retain a section of the transmission. These subjects can be based on a number of things ranging from setting up your own home office to learning the signs of a systems crash so that you can successfully back up your files.

If you do not find a community college is right you, consider contacting your local Parks and Recreation Department. Most park departments offer lessons that are excellent for computer beginners and the novice that has a general idea of how to get around the computer. Since the city, county, or town government sponsors these seminars, they are quite economical and offer specific breaks for area city, county, or town residents. Usually, the only equipment you will need to complete the entrance into the world of the Internet is a computer and access to the World Wide Web. Individuals from all over the world can access the Internet and contact individuals hundreds of thousands of miles away. If you do not have a computer at your disposal, try using computers from places like your local library. You will be able to stay fresh with your computer self confidence while accessing the Internet for absolutely free.

The easiest way to gain self confidence when working with computers is to practice, practice, practice. Explore your computer and try to understand how the hard drive works in cooperation with all of the extra prices present. Do not worry about breaking your computer or executing one potentially hazardous program or file. You computer is a great deal more rugged than you may think, therefore it is fully capable of withstanding errors and problems that may occur while you are exploring. Practice with programs like Microsoft Word, Excel, and PowerPoint. You can quickly and easily complete projects of all expectations using this software. Once you have learned the computer, the operating system, and software, you can rely on your self confidence to carry you the rest of the way. Do not sit at home alone while watching another day pass by—arrange to begin your private or public lessons with any number of trained and talented personnel. Use your self confidence to maintain a sense of trust that you are doing what is necessary in order to completely learn necessary computer skills.

Print

Building Your Self-Confidence at Work

Many people wish they felt more secure about their abilities on the job. In other words, they're looking for increased self-confidence when it comes to performing the work, dealing with coworkers, and handling tough situations. If you're one of these people, you're not alone. What can you do to feel more self-assured about your job?

First, remember that you are not your job. That is, if you make a mistake at work, this does not mean that you are stupid, worthless, or that you're in the wrong position. It's all too easy to take mistakes personally, seeing them as a reflection of your true person rather than for what it is: a mistake. Even though it may not always appear so, everyone makes mistakes from time to time. The best way to deal with a mistake is to own up to it right away and present a solution. This shows that you are honest, and by presenting ways to fix the problem, your boss can send you on your way to deal with the issue. Acting honestly and straightforwardly is best for you–you'll feel better about yourself–and best for the company (which again will help you feel better).

Another common issue is feeling insecure when it comes to coworkers. Many people feel that they do not fit in, are unsure how to handle conflict, or have an overbearing coworker or boss that they don't know how to communicate with. Any of these feelings can wear at your self-esteem. You may feel you have nothing to offer the group, whether socially or on projects, you avoid conflict, and may allow others to step on you. If socialization is a problem, it will require you to step out of your comfort zone a bit. This does not mean you need to jump right in with a large company gathering; rather, take it slow by opening conversations with one or two coworkers. Chances are you'll have something in common. Asking questions about the other person is always a great way to go; just avoid questions with simple yes or no answers.

When dealing with conflict resolution and difficult employees, learning some proven communication techniques may be necessary. Consider attending a course on conflict resolution and dealing with difficult people. In the meantime, remember that the overbearing person likely has a lot of insecurities as well, and these are what cause the behavior. In the midst of conflict, do your best to avoid being pulled into argumentative situations. Don't reward the other person's behavior by getting upset or immediately backing down. If necessary, say you'll continue the conversation when everyone has had a chance to cool down. Dealing with negative coworkers is never fun. Try and remember that your self worth is not dependent on the coworker's approval, even if that person is your boss.

It could be you're feeling unsure about your skills. This one is pretty easy–learn more! Many companies offer continuing education options, will pay for schooling, or offer professional development in house. Whatever your employer offers, take advantage. If your company does not have this option, find some good books on the subject. Ask your colleagues for suggestions, or if you're a member of any type of professional group, seek advice there as well. Many of your peers will have good suggestions on what's worth looking into.

Finally, give yourself some challenges. One great way to build your self confidence at work is to take on a special project or extra work. If you choose something you feel passionate about or something in your specialty area, you can show yourself and your colleagues that you are able to produce results. Even if you fail, you're showing initiative and willingness by taking on special projects. Knowing that you put yourself out there, rather than sitting on the sidelines, can be a great confidence booster. And the same can be said for when it goes well.

Print

Building Self Esteem

Self esteem is your own personal view of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally.  Everyone has a different view of themselves, but keeping a positive outlook will benefit you more than a negative one.  Many individuals suffer from low self esteem for a variety of reasons and need to build their self esteem in order to succeed in life.  Remember, the only one who can make you excel is you and no one else.  The same goes for self esteem.  The only person who can build up—or consequentially tear down—your self esteem is you.  Although other individuals may aide the process, the end decision is yours.

People have low esteem for a variety of reasons.  Some individuals suffer from poor body image and focus on all the negative traits of their physical appearance.  Others have emotional issues that have caused their self esteem to drop or feel themselves unworthy of any praise.  For whatever reasons your self esteem may falter, the key to building it up again is to find the root of the problem.  Think of self esteem like a house, if you build a stunning house on a poor foundation, the entire structure will crumble.  However, if you take steps to ensure the foundation is strong and capable of holding anything, the process may be slow, but your self esteem will be built soundly. 

Many individuals look for help for their low self esteem in books or seminars.  The number of available options on the market is phenomenal, and you are sure to find one on a topic that deals with your specific issues.  Check out your local library or book store and explore their “self help” section for a book that you may find helpful.  It is quite unlikely you will find the answers to all your problems in a book, but you may find it helpful to know others are in your same boat and you are certainly not alone.  Additionally, you may wish to seek professional help in your quest to boost your self esteem.   Often, speaking with a qualified individual can help you determine the root of your problem and the necessary path you should take for the rebuilding process.  Perhaps your problems dates back to childhood, or maybe it has recently developed.  Whatever the case, a professional will be able to best determine your next step.

A main factor in self esteem is negativity.  Negative thoughts can pervade your confidence and crumble your self esteem.  If you find yourself surrounded by negative people or in a negative situation, try to best remedy the problem.  Often, individuals in a abusive relationship have their self esteem shattered when a supposed loved one constantly berates them and questions their worth.  Similarly, a negative workplace environment can lower your self esteem with colleagues or bosses finding fault with your work.  Maybe you have a friend who is consistently negative with all surrounding him or her.  Whatever the source, distancing yourself from the negativity will help you regain your self esteem.  Strive to surround yourself with positive people.  If you are going through a rough time in your personal life, you may wish to join a support group.  Similarly, there are support groups available for individuals with self image issues.  These groups will allow you to meet other individuals like yourself and provide a forum for you to sound your hopes and achievements.

However you choose to begin building your self esteem, do so today!  Be thorough and consistent with the process and be aware it may take a while.  You should not become impatient or despondent if you find your self esteem slipping.  Remember, you are an important and worthy person and should treat yourself as such.

Print
Rodney's 404 Handler Plugin plugged in.