Dating can be a nerve-wracking experience for many people. After all, you could be meeting your future spouse. It can also be a very vulnerable experience. The whole point of dating (usually) is to get to know someone else on an intimate level, or at least beginning this process. For whatever reason, and there are many, most people want to make a good first impression. At the very least, most people want to avoid rejection. Dating is a prime opportunity for this by its very nature. Whether you're looking for a fun night out or a long term development, rejection can occur either way, and it can be difficult to deal with. Self-doubt can come in many forms, from questioning one's intelligence to one's looks to one's ability to tell a good joke. Dating puts it all out there.

How can you increase your confidence when it comes to dating? There are a few things you can do, and certain methods are more appropriate for some people than others.

First Things First

A date is just a date. It is not the rest of your life. Yes, you may meet your future spouse, but this is far beyond the scope of the date. At this point, no matter how desperate you may be feeling to finally settle down, focus only on the date. Putting more pressure on it makes it harder for both of you. The other person is likely to sense your "desperation" (for lack of a better word), and you end up putting way to much pressure on yourself. Instead, try focusing on the date itself, not where it may or may not lead. Enjoy the time together, or, if you don't, try to avoid blaming yourself and going into the litany of self-talk that tries to convince you that you're not worth dating, you'll never find someone, and that you'll be single for the rest of your life.

Be Yourself

Yes, you've heard it many times before, and there's a reason for it. If you do hit it off with the other person, it's best if this happens when you're being true to yourself. If you're "faking" it, you're then faced with coming forward and facing humiliation, rejection, or both, or continuing the facade. This takes a lot of effort, it's dishonest, and you can't keep it up for very long anyway. So whatever your faults, try not to hide them too much. This doesn't mean that you put them all out on the table on the first date, but it also means that you don't go to extreme measures trying to hide them or pretending to be something or someone you're not.

Get Out of Yourself

To help deal with your insecurities about yourself, try focusing on the other person. Show a genuine interest in what he or she has to say. Be honest and courteous in your responses. Let the other person have the spotlight. Not only does this help keep you from focusing on your insecurities, it also helps accomplish what dates are meant to do–get to know someone else better. Ask questions, listen to the answers, and ask more. Talk about common interests when you find them. Above all, try to avoid talking about yourself the whole time or worrying too much about how you look, what you're saying, and what type of impression you're making.

Try Something Different

If the idea of sitting through a quiet dinner with someone you barely know makes you break out into a sweat, consider dating activities that involve a bit more involvement. Take a tour through a garden, go rollerblading, or do some other activity that keeps you moving. If you have something to do, you can focus less on feeling awkward and more on the conversation. It helps keep the atmosphere lighter as well, which can make you both feel more comfortable and confident.

Public speaking can be a rewarding experience that allows individuals to showcase their skills or knowledge in a public forum. Public speaking opportunities can allow an individual to help enrich the lives of anyone in the audience by impressing experiences or information that can have life changing qualities. That being said, many individuals suffer extreme shyness or nervousness when faced with public speaking situations. These situations can range from large audiences of hundreds or thousands of participants to rooms with a few people present. Regardless of the situation, ensuring you have the proper level of public speaking self confidence will aid you remarkably in this foray.

When it comes to public speaking, possessing self confidence is a must. If you find your self confidence low or nonexistent, the best way to boost it up is to practice, practice, practice. Individuals with high self confidence have an ingrained sense that they can handle any and all situations, regardless who is watching or listening. These individuals are well versed in their specific subject matter and have a good idea of how they are going to present the information so that the audience will have the greatest understanding. Additionally, these individuals are capable of fielding questions on their particular subject and can explain the topic on several different levels. If you find yourself unable to do this, begin preparing for your public speaking opportunity at once. Ensure your knowledge in the topic is high and seek out to learn as much as you can. This knowledge will help you indefinitely in both planning your speech and delivering the speech to an audience of individuals who may or may not be familiar with it. Furthermore, in depth knowledge of your subject will aid you immensely when dealing with question and answer sessions that most likely will follow any public speaking opportunity. If necessary, ask other individuals about your topic and be able to explain the topic to individuals of all levels.

When writing your speech, take care to analyze your audience. If you are speaking to individuals who have a great understanding of the topic, you can clearly use a more in depth approach, more acronyms, and more jargon than if speaking to an audience unfamiliar with the subject. Furthermore, know the average age and educational extent of your audience in order to create a speech that will speak directly to these individuals. After you have written your speech, being making notes and prompts to that use can use when giving your speech in public. Knowing your speech is written to the best of your ability will boost your self confidence, as will having the necessary notes and prompts that you can rely on while giving your speech.

When preparing for your speech, take care to not memorize the content. This may seem like a good idea, but can lead to disasterous results. If you find yourself to be nervous before you present any project or speech to a public audience, you might forget the content of your speech and be forced to pull it together from memory. Additionally, if you leave out a specific idea or topic from your speech, your audience may not clearly understand the topic of point of your presentation. The best way to prepare for your speech is to make notes that allow cues or special points you should make in your speech. Have a general idea of what you plan to say and ensure the content covers these points. Also, have any visual materials carefully arranged in the order of presentation so that you will remember to include all items seamlessly in your presentation. Public speaking should not produce a crisis, and ensuring your self confidence is high in yourself and your capabilities will make all the difference in the quality of your presentation.

Anger is an emotion, but when a person is ignited with anger and explodes, then you are looking at one of the signs of mental illness. Most persons that endure igniting anger will confuse or misunderstand others when they are speaking. You can merely ask them what they expect of you when they are mad and they will flare up at you. Often this type of person will ignore your pleas to compromise and blow up in a rage avoiding every word you say. They often make a mountain out of a molehill and will go to all lengths to convince you they did nothing wrong. Everyone is wrong, but the person kicking, striking, cursing, belittling, and so forth. No matter what you do, you can never when if a person is angry. In other instances, an angry person may allow others to take advantage of them, and in this instance, the angry person is often correct. It depends on the person, but we all handle anger differently. Experts believe that angry persons often close their anger inside allowing it to develop into an explosive state, and this is often due to depression or anxiety that is instigating the anger. Anger is often dealt with on passive/aggressive levels, meaning that a person can vent their anger toward others in appropriate aptitudes, such as fighting a corrupted system through protest. Others may avoid issues as they arise, and drag the issues to the point of out of control. Other angry people take their hurt out on other people. For example if you were reduced to a lower position by a friend you might wait until you get home and take the emotions out on your family. This is a common form of anger. It is also common to justify a behavior when a person acts out inappropriately. Stress is another leading cause of anger outbursts. Most times when we are stressed, we feel excessive tension build, irritable, frustrated and so forth. The elements combined are enough to make anyone burst in an uproar. When a person is stress they will feel angry at the world around them, sad at the way they feel, and nervous as a result of standing on shaky grounds. Most of us endure stress or have different stressors in our life, including family problems, society issues, and financial obligations. We are all pressured everyday by someone in the system. Therefore, stress is one of the leading causes of anger management. It is not uncommon for individuals to snap at their families, avoid responsibilities from time to time, and even have problems going to sleep at night. This is all a part of life and stress. Persons that grieve over a death, or suffering from a handicap may often find it difficult to manage their anger. There are all sorts of reasons that we all express anger. Some of us will avoid situations to eliminate anger outbursts. For example, a person with Posttraumatic Stress Disorder has symptoms including flashbacks, which makes them a prime candidate to explode. These types of individuals will often stay out of society, or completely away from people, including family, friends and so on to avoid conflict. For PTSD or posttraumatic stress survivors this is often best since most people in society have no responsibility when it comes to other peoples feelings. Regardless of the situation and why the anger problem exists, it is a mechanism we all have to understand. It is ok to be angry with someone that harms, disrupts our lives, threatens, belittle, or hurts us in any way. It is not ok to beat the person up, or brutally attack the person verbally or mentally, unless that person is promoting a fight. In most instances, we can avoid conflict; however, there are times that we cannot escape. The solution then is learning to address problems in a tactful manner to avoid difficult situations that lead to more problems. When we ignite anger we never know what the results may return, therefore, it is best to let anger go and control the emotions that anger us all. It makes sense to walk with caution through life, since anger can kill.

Nobody can hurt you without your consent

There are many instances in life where your confidence is hit hard. Sometimes you overcome life’s hardness, sometimes you get overwhelmed. Sometimes your courage and confidence sees you through, but sometimes your self-confidence gets a beating. However, the point here to remember is that “Nobody can hurt you without your consent.” The problem is not as important as the impact it had on you, rather the impact that YOU let the problem create on you. In life pain is inevitable but suffering is optional, as the saying goes. It’s purely your choice, and whether you choose to bounce back or suffer is entirely your prerogative.

There can be many reasons that your self-confidence is hurt. You may have had a bad marriage and now are heading for a divorce. You were not chosen for your college’s football team; you may have been laid off. There’s definitely a lot of pain involved in any of the situations. But you don’t necessarily have to suffer. You must arise and resolve to get back your confidence.

The following ways would help you do just that.

Look at the brighter side

If you have been laid off, it would be okay to feel bad about it for a day or two but not more than that. Losing a job is a terrible thing, but it does not mean the end of the world. Who knows it might be a blessing in disguise. Maybe you have got some time to review your life, get aware of where you are going, have a look at your likes and hobbies which you could not develop because of pressures of your job. Maybe this is an opportunity to start afresh and live your life a new way which is more in sync with your abilities and aptitude. Similarly, a divorce may cause great pain but then you weren’t too happy in your marriage either. It probably was just not meant to be. Now you have a chance to rebuild your life the way you want it to be.

Stop comparing yourself with other people

When we have a problem we always question God – “Oh, God, why me?” Certainly God gave you a lot of rewards as well. Did you then get up and ask God –“Oh God, why me?” That’s what human nature is all about. We complain and remember God when we are in trouble or else we are too busy with ourselves. Stop looking at other people who seem too happy and comfortable to you from a distance. Stop comparing their comfort with your suffering. This will only frustrate you further. Focus on yourself and make every effort you can make to go out whenever you are feeling down. Self-pity is very addictive and capable of destroying lives. Instead of indulging in self-pity (though we all do from time to time), take control of your life and take responsibility for your actions, learn from your mistakes and make a fresh start. And yeah…don’t be bogged down when you hear a “NO”. A “NO” is something which even greats like Edison and Ford, too, had to face. If you look at them positively, you will find that each “NO” actually takes you closer to a “YES.” It’s been reported time and time again that Edison conducted more than a thousand failed experiments before he actually made an electric bulb! So get going and take the an occasional no in stride.

Are you standing in your own way

You will notice that shadows are caused when we stand in the path of sunshine. In our lives, too, we cause a lot of shadows by standing in the way of our own happiness. In today’s world, it is important to be flexible. A lot of people will look for a job for months, yet still reject work coming their way because they are not willing to adapt to some new job requirements. Jane, a schoolteacher, was laid off from her job. She kept trying for months to get a job as a teacher while rejecting opportunities such as taking private tuitions, being a nanny, doing copy-editing work as a freelancer. The long wait hurt her self-confidence even more. Sometimes it is wise to be a little flexible and adapt ourselves to new job demands rather than to look exactly for what we lost. It helps regain confidence quickly which brings along enough energy to get an even better job in the field of your choice!

When we are angry, we often find a way to deal with the stress that anger brings. Some of us however cannot find a way to deal with our anger. A faithful strategy I used to deal with anger is to handle the situation when the opportunity arises. If someone does something to hurt me, it depends on the situation but I got resources, therefore I put those to good use. When I feel sometimes, I go inside my mind, find a restful area, and talk to myself. I often find humor whether it is ironic, ridiculous dark, humorous, or what have you. Anything that makes me laugh often relieves the stress my body and mind feels when I am angry. Blowing up at the source that made us angry is not the answer. This only creates a more difficult problem. Therefore, if you have a problem with anger you might want to go to anger management where psychotherapy is available. Anger management helps a person to get in contact with his or her mind. It helps them to see that anger is the root of emotions that are out of control. It also helps the person to see that anger can be controlled if you learn behavior strategies to modify your attitude. If you have problems with anger, you might have an underlying situation, which includes mental illness, alcohol or drugs. Do you drink heavily? If so this affects the body, mind, and will make it difficult to manage your anger when you are threatened or feel as though someone let you down. If you are taking drugs, you may want to consider that drugs can cause great harm to both your mind and body and enhance your mood, making it easier for you to explode when you are anger. Drugs never help, they only cause more harm. If you have mental illness, you might want to consult with an expert in the mental health industry to learn more about your problem. Symptoms are a part of mental illness and anger is one of the many signs that mental illness includes. Not every personality disorder has anger problems, but many of the mental ill do. The symptoms may include inability to comprehend, which often causes anger to erupt since the person has difficulty understanding the person speaking with them. Another symptom in mental illness that causes anger is voices outside the head. If you are hearing those negative voices telling you that someone is going to kill you, or instructing you to kill someone you love it can drive a person mad. Hallucination is another symptom in mental illness that can make a person deranged or angry. When you are seeing things that do not exist, yet appear real, it makes you angry inside when the symptoms subside and you find that you are out in left field. Delusions can also trick the emotions and make us feel out of control. When a person does not have control of his or her being, it often frustrates the person, making them angry. Anger is also created when person’s behaviors are criminal, or potentially criminal oriented. If you have a compulsive lying habit then it often degrades your being and makes you angry. You might blow up at someone for simple words, but the source that made you angry is no one but your self. Likewise, if you are thief it is also degrading and will only dehumanize and deprive you of the ability to control your emotions. If you are experiencing any of the listed sources of anger then anger management is a great start to dealing with your emotions and anger. Anger management is a form of psychotherapy that offers you the tools to learn behavior and control anger. The systematic problem can help you to learn to associate with others without blowing your fuse. If you have difficulty, speaking up then anger management will guide you through the steps to recovery. You will address your problems, learn how to manage them, and learn how to function as a healthy person in society. Anger is good, but when it becomes a problem then anger management is the solution to success.