Numerous studies show that girls' self-esteem and self-confidence tends to plummet after about age nine as girls enter puberty. Is there any way to promote and increase self esteem and confidence during the earlier years to help pave the way for this important transitional time? The good news is yes, there are things that can be done. Some of them you already know, but a few reminders can't hurt.

For one, limit television. Yes, we've all heard it before, and it's easier said than done, particularly when there are a number of things to be done. However, studies show that programming and advertising can have a negative affect on viewers. Beginning at very young ages, shows geared toward children are mixed with many advertising messages, some subtle, and some not so subtle. While we can't blame the media for everything, we can acknowledge that too much television may negatively affect our children's self esteem and confidence. Children who learn at a young age that food equals happiness, for example, may have problems with body image later in life. Ongoing messages that things are the solutions to problems only exaggerates feelings of low self worth if a child doesn't have the right things. As children age, the "things" can change into a perfect body, and not having the right things can translate into body image problems and other self-destructive behaviors.

Provide positive role models. As girls age, they become increasingly aware of how women around them act and respond to various situations. Women who stuff their anger or express it "sideways" show girls that it's not okay to be angry, stand up for oneself, and be open and honest about their feelings. Young girls learn from this behavior, and internal anger can express itself in feelings of low self-esteem and low confidence. Depression increases, and unexpressed anger can come out in very self-destructive ways, including eating disorders and substance abuse. Unfortunately, many women never learned how to express their feelings in an appropriate manner, because they themselves did not have positive role models. If this is an issue, consider seeking professional help, not only for your own sake, but for those of your children.

Encourage learning and education. Some studies show that girls with a strong educational background are less likely to run into trouble as teens. The more girls know, the better able they are to make decisions. It's also important to encourage learning in math and science. While this is improving, girls are still viewed as less likely to succeed in these areas. Encouragement in these learning areas cannot only promote increased self-confidence, but it can also prepare girls for the changing work environment that relies more and more on technology. Of course, this isn't to say that other areas of learning are less important; only that encouragement in these areas can help provide balance to an education that is still not quite equal.

Help young girls try new things and discover their talents. Learning what we are good at, and being encouraged to follow these directions, can greatly improve self-esteem and self confidence. When talents or dreams are dismissed, this can easily be perceived as a personal rejection. On the other hand, when girls are encouraged to pursue their interests and develop their talents, this gives the message that they are important. Girls who feel valued by their parents and other important figures in their life are less likely to seek validation from other sources, many of which are not the positive influences desired.

Helping your children develop a healthy self-esteem and self confidence is an ongoing process. They will face struggles, and parents and others need to help them figure out ways of dealing with tough times. But as you work on solutions together, you can help young girls develop independence and confidence.

Despite advances in gender differences, boys are still very much taught that they need to be strong, not show emotions, never be vulnerable, and a host of other behaviors that can make them feel isolated from others. When boys feel they have no outlets and ways to express themselves, they can lose confidence in themselves and have lower self-esteem. This can have detrimental outcomes, as boys seek ways to feel better about themselves. This could be getting involved with others who are not the positive influences desired, or acting out in negative ways that lead to them getting in trouble in school or elsewhere. As boys age, their self-confidence tends to improve; however, if they are involved in activities and detrimental behaviors at a young age, this may well carry into the teen years, when the outcomes can be much more serious. What can you do, as a parent or influence, to foster a healthy self-confidence in young boys?

First, be sure that you are available. If boys know they have someone to talk to who will not laugh at them for expressing their feelings and fears, they will be more likely to take advantage of this. Young boys may have friends who they can talk to, but these boys have also been taught or shown that expressing emotions is unmanly, and that fears are something to be laughed at. This can result in devastating feelings of rejection and loss of self worth among peers. Therefore, be sure to provide a safe place and ways for boys to express themselves.

Also show boys that it is okay to express emotions. This does not mean that the men in their lives need to be overly sensitive or constantly crying, but displaying a healthy amount of emotion is a positive thing, both for the adult and for the boys who witness it. Displays of appropriate emotion are important to a boy's sense of self-worth. For example, boys who witness men being stoic and showing little or no emotion during times of high emotional stress may become very confused. A death in the family is one such example. The boy will understandably be feeling sadness, emptiness, and a host of other emotions. However, if he witnesses the adult men in the family appearing unaffected, this can create a lot of confusion. This can also make a young boy doubt his own emotions, which are perfectly natural and normal in such a situation. Yet, from what he witnesses, he may conclude that he is abnormal, which can lead to a loss of self-esteem and confidence.

Help boys find what they're good at and encourage it. Not all boys are going to be fabulous at sports or other traditionally "male" activities, and this is okay. If he is good at sports, that's great. But also encourage boys to try a variety of activities and interests to see which ones fit and which do not. If a boy loves reading, for example, do not chastise him for this. If he is made to feel unworthy for pursuing interests, he can translate this into feeling that he as a person is not important, and this is definitely not something you want to have happen. Particularly for boys, activities and external pursuits are often seen as a direct reflection of who they are as people. Encourage boys to feel good about who they are, not just what they do.

As boys learn healthy ways to express themselves, follow their interests, and have a strong support system, they will be much better able to build a strong foundation for a lifetime of confidence. Making it through the teenage years will be easier (not easy, but easier), as will the transition to adulthood. Start early to help young boys to develop a strong sense of self to help them become positive role models for the next generation.

Self-confidence is something that all of us need if we have to do well in life. It gives us the courage to face the most difficult of situations, something which cannot be said of people who lack self-confidence. They often break down in front of challenges.

The question, however, is how do you achieve self-confidence? You can do so if you define your tasks, and priorities, correctly. You then need to ask yourself as to how you can accomplish these tasks. A good strategy is to break your goals into smaller tasks. This makes the main task seem less daunting. You then need to pat yourself every time you reach a milestone. This increases your self-confidence, and makes it easy for you to achieve your goals.

You also need to look at the image that you have of yourself. If you don’t have a good image of yourself, and are always running yourself down, then your chances of being successful are minimal. Your self image or what you believe about yourself can be hurt easily if you blame yourself for any setback in your life like a business failure, loss of a job or a divorce. So, avoid self-flagellation. It feeds on your negative thoughts, and can easily become a monster. You need to write off your failures, and plan for new challenges. This is a positive approach to adopt, and can shore up your shaky self-confidence.

Those who are close to you play an important role in shaping your self-confidence. If they happen to critical or negative, they will have a negative impact on your self-confidence. Your priority should be to distance yourself from such people, and find friends and supporters who are imbued with a positive outlook. Without your knowing, they will add to your self-confidence.

Another issue that matters is your reaction to the events in your life. You should consider yourself a unique person who has his own special place in the world. This will lead to a development of positive attitudes, beliefs and values, qualities that can give you the self-confidence to succeed against all odds. However, there is an inherent danger in such a world-view. You may become too over-confident, and stop listening to what the others say. Don’t allow this to happen. Listen to all criticism, filter out the points that can make you a better individual; junk the rest. This constant course correction will make you a better individual.

At the same time, you need to monitor your internal dialogue. You must talk yourself into believing that you can take up any reasonable assignment. This will drive away negative attitudes and beliefs, and add to your self-confidence..

In fact, the picture you have of yourself needs constant monitoring and care. You cannot afford to let it take care of itself. Your self-confidence, happiness and success depends on it. You need to guard against selling yourself short. Don’t underestimate yourself and prevent feelings of inferiority from creeping in. Aim high and feel that you are capable of achieving anything you choose. Write down how you would like to see yourself five or ten years from now.

Make a list of your strong points, the things you do well and the compliments you receive. Write down a few of the things about yourself, which you think need improvement. Think of yourself as a self-confident person and act as if you are very self-confident, even if you don’t feel that way. Try to keep negative attitudes and beliefs away from yourself and maintain a safe distance from negative and destructive people.

If you take responsibility for your life and practice these methods regularly, your self-confidence will rise. What’s more, it will remain high.

The teen years are some of the most difficult for both boys and girls. However, studies show that as teen boys enter puberty, their confidence is likely in increase. On the other hand, girls' confidence and feelings of self-esteem are likely to take a downhill slide. The repercussions of this can be damaging at best and destructive at worst. Girls who do not feel good about themselves are more likely to suffer from depression and engage in self-destructive behavior that can range from eating disorders, to cutting, to risky sexual behaviors. Obviously, doing whatever you can to keep your daughter feeling good about herself is a good idea. The following tips are by no means all inclusive, but they are a starting point.

Be a Good Role Model
Parents have a difficult job with a lot of responsibility. However, one of the best things parents can do for their children is to set a good example. Mothers and fathers are equally important in children's lives, regardless of the family living situation. When fathers have solid relationships with their daughters and show that they love them, girls will be less likely to seek male attention elsewhere. Even though it can be very difficult and trying at times to communicate with your teenage daughter, do your best to constantly let her know that you are available and that you love her. This goes for both fathers and mothers. Mothers' roles are also important. If mothers demonstrate healthy ways of expressing emotions, emotional independence, and other positive attributes, it will demonstrate to teen girls that they can speak up for their needs without having to find destructive ways of getting them met.

Be Available
You've probably heard it time and time again, but research continues to show that teens who feel their parents are interested and involved in their lives are much less likely to engage in dangerous or negative behaviors. Even if it seems your teen is ignoring you, she probably isn't. It's more likely that she is listening, but also trying to assert her independence as she navigates her way through increasing self reliance and the fears that come with this. Teens are at a difficult crossroad between becoming more and more independent, while at the same time having feelings of not wanting to leave home when the time comes, fears of college, fears of making a living, and all the other insecurities that come with the responsibilities of maturity. You can help alleviate these fears by making an ongoing effort to show your daughter that you are available. This way, she can come to you when she is ready. But if she's not getting the message that you are there for her, she will instead turn to her peers, boyfriends, substances, or other methods of dealing with her emotions.

Show Your Daughter that You have Confidence in Her
As appropriate, take means to show your daughter that you have confidence in her abilities, dreams, and achievements. Encourage her in what she does well, and encourage her to try new things. Showing that you have confidence in her ability to take on new challenges will help her feel more confident in herself. She will need to face new situations on a regular basis during the teen and early adult years, and having a support team can make this much easier for her. Also consider teaching or showing her ways she can build her confidence, such as taking a stand against gossip, school bullies, and pressures to do things she doesn't want to do. Peer pressure at this age can be enormous, and when your daughter has the tools and the back-up plan (you) to deal with it, she can start to gain confidence in her successes.

When we are mad, we are consuming our energy and time on negative forces that may or may not prove results. Anger is an emotion that we all have and when we use anger to our advantage, it often takes us further than blowing up in an uproar. Anger that strikes, hits, punches, curses, assaults emotions and so forth are negative anger that causes more problems. Dealing with emotions and anger is never easy when we have probable cause to become ignited. When others hurt our feelings, attack our intellect, and take advantage of us it can upset anyone. We are facing problems that include, anger, prejudice, mental illnesses, substance abuse and crime everyday. However, negative anger can only hurt and rarely help anyone. For example, we can look back on September 11 when a group of men acting out on anger affected the entire world. Instead of resolving their problems, they added more problems to everyone’s life. See when you expose uncontrolled anger you are not only hurting your self you are hurting other people. Anger is increasingly causing more problems for our entire world. Since we are dealing with terrorist, serial murders, child and spouse abuse and other types of violence, we know that the world is heading for disaster unless someone comes up with the master plan to deal with all the anger surfacing the earth. We can see anger has interrupted many lives and continues as we engage in wars. We have professional leaders that are unable to deal with anger since when a problem occurs violence is the ultimate result. Looking back at September 11, we can see that anger played a large role on both sides. The terrorist from another country was mad and acted on their anger taking revenge and all this was based on a belief. The American government retaliated and now we are still fighting almost six years later and little was resolved. What if the leaders were able to negotiate and talk out their problems with each other? If both sides would have shown more responsible and maturity anger would not have caused the many problems it did in this event. We can ask is there a way that the problem could have been dealt with. Yes, there probably was, but anger took control. We can also look back in history and review the other wars that plagued our system. The wars always affect us all in some way. The anger that is issued by one party or group played a large role in everyone’s life. It affects the economy, the environment, parents, teachers, children and anyone that is touched by anger. If we are going to get ahead in life, we have to find a way that deals with anger on all individualities. Anger is a sign of mental illness, substance abuse and common society. Some of us act out violently while others of us find a more suitable way to deal with our problems. If we use anger positively we are sure to have a much more productive life. In a way, we all rely on each other whether it is directly or indirectly. If you have a problem with anger, there are anger management classes to rely on, or mental health experts waiting to help you deal with your anger. If you have substance abuse issues that contribute to anger then alcohol and drug classes are free of charge to help you learn how to deal with your stress and anger. The people that attend most these meetings have their own problems and have found a way to deal with them more effectively. Anger rules the world at this point since we are all touched by the violence that plagues our system, but if we all take the first step to dealing with our emotions and anger then our lives will benefit us all. If you know someone that is dealing with anger show the person some patients and help him or her find the help they need before it is too late. Remember negative anger consumes our time, burns our energy and often wastes our money.