Self esteem is your own personal view of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally.  Everyone has a different view of themselves, but keeping a positive outlook will benefit you more than a negative one.  Many individuals suffer from low self esteem for a variety of reasons and need to build their self esteem in order to succeed in life.  Remember, the only one who can make you excel is you and no one else.  The same goes for self esteem.  The only person who can build up—or consequentially tear down—your self esteem is you.  Although other individuals may aide the process, the end decision is yours.

People have low esteem for a variety of reasons.  Some individuals suffer from poor body image and focus on all the negative traits of their physical appearance.  Others have emotional issues that have caused their self esteem to drop or feel themselves unworthy of any praise.  For whatever reasons your self esteem may falter, the key to building it up again is to find the root of the problem.  Think of self esteem like a house, if you build a stunning house on a poor foundation, the entire structure will crumble.  However, if you take steps to ensure the foundation is strong and capable of holding anything, the process may be slow, but your self esteem will be built soundly. 

Many individuals look for help for their low self esteem in books or seminars.  The number of available options on the market is phenomenal, and you are sure to find one on a topic that deals with your specific issues.  Check out your local library or book store and explore their “self help” section for a book that you may find helpful.  It is quite unlikely you will find the answers to all your problems in a book, but you may find it helpful to know others are in your same boat and you are certainly not alone.  Additionally, you may wish to seek professional help in your quest to boost your self esteem.   Often, speaking with a qualified individual can help you determine the root of your problem and the necessary path you should take for the rebuilding process.  Perhaps your problems dates back to childhood, or maybe it has recently developed.  Whatever the case, a professional will be able to best determine your next step.

A main factor in self esteem is negativity.  Negative thoughts can pervade your confidence and crumble your self esteem.  If you find yourself surrounded by negative people or in a negative situation, try to best remedy the problem.  Often, individuals in a abusive relationship have their self esteem shattered when a supposed loved one constantly berates them and questions their worth.  Similarly, a negative workplace environment can lower your self esteem with colleagues or bosses finding fault with your work.  Maybe you have a friend who is consistently negative with all surrounding him or her.  Whatever the source, distancing yourself from the negativity will help you regain your self esteem.  Strive to surround yourself with positive people.  If you are going through a rough time in your personal life, you may wish to join a support group.  Similarly, there are support groups available for individuals with self image issues.  These groups will allow you to meet other individuals like yourself and provide a forum for you to sound your hopes and achievements.

However you choose to begin building your self esteem, do so today!  Be thorough and consistent with the process and be aware it may take a while.  You should not become impatient or despondent if you find your self esteem slipping.  Remember, you are an important and worthy person and should treat yourself as such.

Our self-belief has a profound effect on our confidence and on the quality of our lives. If a person believes that he lacks basic skills to solve problems then he may lose heart and give up. In contrast, a person who has less abilities but who believes in himself stands a much better chance of being successful. This is because his self-belief gives him the confidence to try.

Have you ever wondered why only a few students in a class ask questions? Is it because the others have understood all the points made during a lecture? Or is it because they lack the confidence to ask a question? More often than not, it is the fear of making a fool of themselves that stops students from asking questions. In other words, they lack self-confidence. The only way this confidence can improve is when they start believing in themselves.

This is why self-belief is so important. It gives an individual the confidence to aim for the moon. It overwhelms negative thoughts, and drives away the fear of failure. It is the best antidote against self-flagellation, which turns several talented persons into under-achievers. It gives the students the confidence that they have nothing to loose. On the contrary, they realize that they have everything to gain by asking a question, even if it happens to be a silly question.

Abraham Lincoln is a fine example of a man who believed in himself. He lost every election until he went to the Senate and stood for the post of the President. He did not allow his failures in professional and personal life to erode his self-belief. Had he done so, the history of the US would have been different.

Self-belief gives us the confidence to accept failure. It teaches us the importance of positive thinking. Those who have self-esteem don't talk about failures; instead, they try to find out why they did not succeed. They look for lessons that can be learnt from their experience. This is not a simple issue of semantics. It is the power of positive thinking, and it is available to only those who have self-esteem.

Once again it is self-esteem that gives us the confidence to enter a new group, and become a part of it. Those who lack self-esteem are very reluctant to approach a new group. They don't want to expose themselves to the ridicule of being seen as shy, nervous or ignorant. They would instead prefer to stay in their corners.

In fact, lack of self-esteem stands out like a sore thumb at parties, at meetings, at conferences and at social or official functions. Individuals with low self-esteem avoid introducing themselves to others. They prefer to stay in the shadows, away from the sights of others. However, their colleagues who enjoy high self-esteem dominate the discussions. They are sought after by others for information. They are also invited to other meetings and parties — all because their self-esteem gives them the confidence to open up before a group of strangers. It is the same student syndrome that is reflected in an individual's working life too.

Low self-esteem also lowers an individual's self-confidence. He takes to liquor or drugs to boost his confidence artificially. Nothing can be more futile or dangerous. Such behavior further destroys an individual's self-esteem. The best way to break out of this pitiable situation is to build self-esteem, which is not easy. The individual has few options but to begin life afresh. The best is to look for a new workplace and a new set of friends, because it is easy to deal with people who have no preconceived notions about you.

But nothing will work until the individual develops self-respect, and the self-belief that he is as good as others. He must realize that he is not the only one who has strong and weak points; the others too suffer from the same defects. The only difference is that the others project their strong points whereas he projects his weak points. All that he needs is to refocus his priorities. He will find the elusive self-confidence.

It's one of those things that all parents want to provide for their children and one of those things that many feel they do not know how to do: raise a self-confident child. Self-esteem oftentimes seems like a fragile, distant thing that we all know what it is but don't know how to develop. Your self-esteem is a compilation of how you feel about yourself. It encompasses everything from your confidence in relationships, to your body image, to your work life. So how do you foster this "thing" in your children?

We teach our children "honesty is the best policy." This applies to how we deal with our children as much as it does expecting them to be honest with us. When it comes to your child's self-esteem, he or she will know or be able to sense if you are not being honest. For example, if art is not your child's top skill, don't say that his or her drawing is the best you've ever seen. Your child will know it's not, and will not believe you the next time you say something meant to be positive, no matter how honest it is. Instead, tell your child something genuine about the piece or the effort. Make non-judgmental statements such as, "You really used your imagination in making the flowers many different colors." This simply states your observation, rather than a false statement.

Also, understand that your child and your child's behavior are two separate things. This can be very hard to remember, particularly when your child is acting out in ways that make you crazy or that are unsafe. However, when you discipline your child for the behavior rather than the person, you can positively influence and foster self esteem. Why? If your child feels that you are mad, because of who he or she is as a person rather than for the behavior, this can negatively affect your child's self-esteem. Using "I" statements helps with this. Say something like, "I don't like it when you leave your toys scattered all over the floor," which also addresses the behavior, rather than, "You are a slob," which attacks their character.

Let your child make some decisions. Children are in a situation where everyone else is constantly telling them what to do, when to do it, where to go, and more. When children are allowed to make some choices, even if it's something small, they learn to be self-reliant. You don't want your children growing up feeling dependent on others for direction. Simple choices such as what to wear (you can offer two or three choices) or choosing a special lunch item will foster your child's being able to think independently.

Encourage your children to try new things. While there's nothing wrong with encouraging your child's talents–this will help build self-confidence as well–it's also important that your children learn to experiment. Trying new things helps everyone overcome fears of the unknown and helps us learn to deal with success and failure. If a child never learns to try new things, this can create problems later in life. After all, most people do not live in world where everything is the same day after day. Life is constantly changing, whether it's a move to a new city or starting a new career. If children are experienced at trying new things, even if small, life's bigger transitions will be much easier–such as leaving for college and starting a career.

These are, of course, only a few things you can do to help develop your child's self-confidence. The important thing to remember is that it is an ongoing process. The little things do add up, even if they seem unimportant. This can be helpful to keep in mind, particularly when something as important as developing your child's self esteem feels like a monumental task. It doesn't have to be! Taking time to recognize your child for the wonderful person he or she is, combined with a few techniques and consistency will go a long way toward raising a healthy, confident adult.

Numerous studies show that girls' self-esteem and self-confidence tends to plummet after about age nine as girls enter puberty. Is there any way to promote and increase self esteem and confidence during the earlier years to help pave the way for this important transitional time? The good news is yes, there are things that can be done. Some of them you already know, but a few reminders can't hurt.

For one, limit television. Yes, we've all heard it before, and it's easier said than done, particularly when there are a number of things to be done. However, studies show that programming and advertising can have a negative affect on viewers. Beginning at very young ages, shows geared toward children are mixed with many advertising messages, some subtle, and some not so subtle. While we can't blame the media for everything, we can acknowledge that too much television may negatively affect our children's self esteem and confidence. Children who learn at a young age that food equals happiness, for example, may have problems with body image later in life. Ongoing messages that things are the solutions to problems only exaggerates feelings of low self worth if a child doesn't have the right things. As children age, the "things" can change into a perfect body, and not having the right things can translate into body image problems and other self-destructive behaviors.

Provide positive role models. As girls age, they become increasingly aware of how women around them act and respond to various situations. Women who stuff their anger or express it "sideways" show girls that it's not okay to be angry, stand up for oneself, and be open and honest about their feelings. Young girls learn from this behavior, and internal anger can express itself in feelings of low self-esteem and low confidence. Depression increases, and unexpressed anger can come out in very self-destructive ways, including eating disorders and substance abuse. Unfortunately, many women never learned how to express their feelings in an appropriate manner, because they themselves did not have positive role models. If this is an issue, consider seeking professional help, not only for your own sake, but for those of your children.

Encourage learning and education. Some studies show that girls with a strong educational background are less likely to run into trouble as teens. The more girls know, the better able they are to make decisions. It's also important to encourage learning in math and science. While this is improving, girls are still viewed as less likely to succeed in these areas. Encouragement in these learning areas cannot only promote increased self-confidence, but it can also prepare girls for the changing work environment that relies more and more on technology. Of course, this isn't to say that other areas of learning are less important; only that encouragement in these areas can help provide balance to an education that is still not quite equal.

Help young girls try new things and discover their talents. Learning what we are good at, and being encouraged to follow these directions, can greatly improve self-esteem and self confidence. When talents or dreams are dismissed, this can easily be perceived as a personal rejection. On the other hand, when girls are encouraged to pursue their interests and develop their talents, this gives the message that they are important. Girls who feel valued by their parents and other important figures in their life are less likely to seek validation from other sources, many of which are not the positive influences desired.

Helping your children develop a healthy self-esteem and self confidence is an ongoing process. They will face struggles, and parents and others need to help them figure out ways of dealing with tough times. But as you work on solutions together, you can help young girls develop independence and confidence.

Despite advances in gender differences, boys are still very much taught that they need to be strong, not show emotions, never be vulnerable, and a host of other behaviors that can make them feel isolated from others. When boys feel they have no outlets and ways to express themselves, they can lose confidence in themselves and have lower self-esteem. This can have detrimental outcomes, as boys seek ways to feel better about themselves. This could be getting involved with others who are not the positive influences desired, or acting out in negative ways that lead to them getting in trouble in school or elsewhere. As boys age, their self-confidence tends to improve; however, if they are involved in activities and detrimental behaviors at a young age, this may well carry into the teen years, when the outcomes can be much more serious. What can you do, as a parent or influence, to foster a healthy self-confidence in young boys?

First, be sure that you are available. If boys know they have someone to talk to who will not laugh at them for expressing their feelings and fears, they will be more likely to take advantage of this. Young boys may have friends who they can talk to, but these boys have also been taught or shown that expressing emotions is unmanly, and that fears are something to be laughed at. This can result in devastating feelings of rejection and loss of self worth among peers. Therefore, be sure to provide a safe place and ways for boys to express themselves.

Also show boys that it is okay to express emotions. This does not mean that the men in their lives need to be overly sensitive or constantly crying, but displaying a healthy amount of emotion is a positive thing, both for the adult and for the boys who witness it. Displays of appropriate emotion are important to a boy's sense of self-worth. For example, boys who witness men being stoic and showing little or no emotion during times of high emotional stress may become very confused. A death in the family is one such example. The boy will understandably be feeling sadness, emptiness, and a host of other emotions. However, if he witnesses the adult men in the family appearing unaffected, this can create a lot of confusion. This can also make a young boy doubt his own emotions, which are perfectly natural and normal in such a situation. Yet, from what he witnesses, he may conclude that he is abnormal, which can lead to a loss of self-esteem and confidence.

Help boys find what they're good at and encourage it. Not all boys are going to be fabulous at sports or other traditionally "male" activities, and this is okay. If he is good at sports, that's great. But also encourage boys to try a variety of activities and interests to see which ones fit and which do not. If a boy loves reading, for example, do not chastise him for this. If he is made to feel unworthy for pursuing interests, he can translate this into feeling that he as a person is not important, and this is definitely not something you want to have happen. Particularly for boys, activities and external pursuits are often seen as a direct reflection of who they are as people. Encourage boys to feel good about who they are, not just what they do.

As boys learn healthy ways to express themselves, follow their interests, and have a strong support system, they will be much better able to build a strong foundation for a lifetime of confidence. Making it through the teenage years will be easier (not easy, but easier), as will the transition to adulthood. Start early to help young boys to develop a strong sense of self to help them become positive role models for the next generation.