Check Your Confidence Levels

Would you like to be confident? Your answer may be - yes; I do want to be confident. However, this answer lacks the impact. It is too generalized. Just like everybody wants to do well in life and be rich but not many ever realize this wish. This is because to actually get somewhere in life, you need to quantify your confidence. You need to define the task for which you need to be confident so that you can execute it successfully. A mere wish to be confident won’t take you anywhere. The dream must have a deadline as well!

Self Confidence might mean different things to different people groups. For a child it might mean to be able to recite the poem to her teacher the next morning. For a business executive it might mean to be able to present the business report to the Board of Directors. For a salaried person it may be the ability to be able to make a switch over from his secure job to a new independent venture and so on. To execute their respective tasks, these people need a certain level of confidence, which would see them through. Every task requires a minimum level of confidence to be able to be executed. Do you have a task in your mind to be done? Do you have the level of confidence required? Let us check it out!

Following is a simple questionnaire. You have to answer to these in a YES or NO

1.Does it happen too often with you that you cannot take a decision all by yourself and you seem to look for your colleagues, friends, or your spouse to sort the matter for you?
2.Do you always seem to be in perpetual need of a support system wherein you can feel secure?
3.Do you just sit and listen all the times in your office meetings?
4.Do you feel difficulty in reporting a matter to your boss or you have an excellent idea that can improve your company’s efficiency but you cannot muster enough courage to go and talk about it to your Boss?
5.Are you terrified to meet someone new? Is public speaking your worst nightmare?
6.Do you timidly accept orders from your superior even though you know that you are already overloaded and you need to say no?
7.Are you excessively concerned about what other people think of you?
8.Do you fear taking risks?
9.Do you feel dissatisfied about your appearance?
10.Are you uncomfortable in social gatherings – being amongst lots of people?

If you happen to answer these questions with a Yes, you seem to have a confidence crisis that might become an obstacle in successfully executing your tasks. Don’t Panic, as it is good that you found out since now you are aware of a potential problem of your life. The very fact that you are aware of your confidence rating makes you ready to take further action and work towards eliminating the negative effects of low confidence levels and work towards building your self confidence.

Here are some more questions you may answer.

1.Have you accomplished anything in the past?
2.Are you the one to go ahead and break the ice at a new place or wait for someone else to initiate a discussion?
3.Do you feel you are well respected by others?
4.Do you think you have the potential to succeed?
5.Are you a happy and loving person?
6.Are you satisfied with your career graph?
7.Are you satisfied with your skills and qualifications?
8.Do you feel in control of your life?
9.Do you imagine yourself to be more successful five years from now?
10.Do you feel that you are a worthwhile person?

If you happen to answer most of these questions with a NO, you have LOW self-confidence levels.

However, a YES is never decisive and a NO is never final. One needs to constantly maintain the good points and work towards converting bad points into good points. And the good news is that it is very much possible. It’s important that you honestly answer the questions above, since only when you realize the present status of your self-confidence would you be working towards building self-confidence or maintaining and increasing your present levels.

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Check Your Confidence Levels


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Dating with Confidence

Dating can be a nerve-wracking experience for many people. After all, you could be meeting your future spouse. It can also be a very vulnerable experience. The whole point of dating (usually) is to get to know someone else on an intimate level, or at least beginning this process. For whatever reason, and there are many, most people want to make a good first impression. At the very least, most people want to avoid rejection. Dating is a prime opportunity for this by its very nature. Whether you're looking for a fun night out or a long term development, rejection can occur either way, and it can be difficult to deal with. Self-doubt can come in many forms, from questioning one's intelligence to one's looks to one's ability to tell a good joke. Dating puts it all out there.

How can you increase your confidence when it comes to dating? There are a few things you can do, and certain methods are more appropriate for some people than others.

First Things First

A date is just a date. It is not the rest of your life. Yes, you may meet your future spouse, but this is far beyond the scope of the date. At this point, no matter how desperate you may be feeling to finally settle down, focus only on the date. Putting more pressure on it makes it harder for both of you. The other person is likely to sense your "desperation" (for lack of a better word), and you end up putting way to much pressure on yourself. Instead, try focusing on the date itself, not where it may or may not lead. Enjoy the time together, or, if you don't, try to avoid blaming yourself and going into the litany of self-talk that tries to convince you that you're not worth dating, you'll never find someone, and that you'll be single for the rest of your life.

Be Yourself

Yes, you've heard it many times before, and there's a reason for it. If you do hit it off with the other person, it's best if this happens when you're being true to yourself. If you're "faking" it, you're then faced with coming forward and facing humiliation, rejection, or both, or continuing the facade. This takes a lot of effort, it's dishonest, and you can't keep it up for very long anyway. So whatever your faults, try not to hide them too much. This doesn't mean that you put them all out on the table on the first date, but it also means that you don't go to extreme measures trying to hide them or pretending to be something or someone you're not.

Get Out of Yourself

To help deal with your insecurities about yourself, try focusing on the other person. Show a genuine interest in what he or she has to say. Be honest and courteous in your responses. Let the other person have the spotlight. Not only does this help keep you from focusing on your insecurities, it also helps accomplish what dates are meant to do–get to know someone else better. Ask questions, listen to the answers, and ask more. Talk about common interests when you find them. Above all, try to avoid talking about yourself the whole time or worrying too much about how you look, what you're saying, and what type of impression you're making.

Try Something Different

If the idea of sitting through a quiet dinner with someone you barely know makes you break out into a sweat, consider dating activities that involve a bit more involvement. Take a tour through a garden, go rollerblading, or do some other activity that keeps you moving. If you have something to do, you can focus less on feeling awkward and more on the conversation. It helps keep the atmosphere lighter as well, which can make you both feel more comfortable and confident.

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Are Your Kids Stressing You Out?

Remember the first time you saw your first-born child? You might have been amazed at her eyes, or mesmerized by the perfection of his hands. You might have dutifully recorded the first smile, the first laughs, the first steps, the first dance. He or she became the most important individual in your life. When that little person came into your world, you knew that your life had changed forever.

There is nothing quite like the joy of parenthood. It can lift your spirits on the most miserable day. It gives you a reason to rise in the morning, and a good excuse for blowing bubbles, catching fireflies, or gazing at a fireworks display. When you give your child a hug at night, you know that all is right with the universe.

However, parenthood can also be quite stressful. There are so many demands on your time, so many commitments you need to fulfill. Your responsibilities can leave you feeling anxious and frustrated. If your child is sick, or is having trouble in school, or has become involved in drug or alcohol abuse, your stress level could rise to the max.

Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do to eliminate the stressors associated with parenthood. They simply come with the territory. While you can guide your child, you cannot expect to control him or her, particularly when your child reaches the teenage years. Therefore, you have to learn to somehow manage the stress of parenthood before it gets the better of you.

The most important strategy you can adopt is to keep the communication going between yourself and your child, even when it becomes difficult. Your stress level will be greatly reduced if you can talk with your child, especially when something is bothering him or her. It is important for your child to know that your love is unconditional, and that he or she can turn to you at any time of the day or night. Strengthening the bond of trust can do a great deal to eliminate your stress.

Another stress-reducing tact you can take is to set aside time to spend with your child—other than helping him or her with homework. This is particularly important if you have more than one child. You need some fun time with your child—to let him or her know that you care. Plan for an afternoon of rollerskating or an evening playing checkers. You’ll find that such relaxing activities can help to alleviate your stress.

Also, it is important that you build into your day a break in the action. Have your husband or wife watch the children for ten minutes while you re-group. This is particularly important if you find yourself under so much stress that you are about to lose your temper. Give yourself a timeout—and watch your stress level drop considerably.

Mention needs to be made about the special stress that single parents feel. Theirs is a difficult lot and the pressures can be intense. That is why it is so critically important for single parents to strengthen their support systems. They need to have a parent, brother or sister, or friend they can rely on when the stress of parenting becomes overwhelming. Just having someone to talk to can be a tremendous stress-reliever. In other cases, a single parent might need someone to watch his or her children for the night so that the parent can re-group. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness—it is indicative of great emotional strength. If you find yourself falling apart, don’t wait for a crisis to get some assistance. If you turn to others for support, you will find that your family unit will only grow stronger.

Parenting is perhaps the single greatest responsibility a person can hold. As a result, there is a tremendous amount of stress involved. Recognizing that fact is an important part of the parenting process. Once you are attuned to stress—and the causes of it—you are more likely to be able to manage it well. It is important also for you to recognize that stress management is an on-going process—that it doesn’t happen overnight. However, with time, you can become a first-rate stress manager.

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Understanding Mental Illness

Understanding mental illness can help us help loved ones recover from their suffering. Although it is not possible to completely understand since even scientist is often baffled, it is possible to have a basic understanding. Understanding mental health and trauma can also help us to learn more about mental illnesses. The problem starts at the door with the mental health experts. They often start out diagnosing the patient upfront, and lay out a series of diagnosis that will cover medical cost on insurance. The next step is finding the diagnosis that insurance will cover if long-term treatment is needed. As you can see upfront that, the patient is already headed for additional problems, since money is the primary issue when it comes to mental health. The patient is the last to know in many cases that he or she just stepped into a web of financial issues and entrapment treatment. In other words the patient could be diagnosed with Axis 1: Depression: Axis II: Bipolar: Axis III: Physical problems: Axis IV: Psychotic Episodes: Axis V: suicidal with serious interrupted symptoms surrounding the cause. This is obviously a serious complaint and insurance will often consider coverage since the patient is a hazard. After they are interview by an intake therapist, they are often shifted to the next level, therapy. After the therapist evaluates the patient sorting through the intakes information and watching the patient for signs or traces of symptoms related, the next level the therapist uses is diagnosing the patient with a mental disorder that complies with coverage. Most patients are diagnosed properly however, few are incorrectly diagnosed. The next level is visiting the psychiatrist who will then administer medications to treat the patient, since more money is involved they must understand what Medicaid or other insurance polices will cover. The patient is then subject to a therapist and a psychiatrist that believes they know more than the patient does. In regards to psychological disadvantages this is true, however if the patient was willing to do some research he or she might have more an advantage over the professionals since they are informed. Once they understand what symptoms are in the different diagnosis, they can then help the counselor and doctor understand more about their suffering. The best solution then is to research the diagnose that the therapist placed on you to see if this is what you are going through. Study the symptoms carefully weeding out any elements of the diagnose that may not involve you. After you have weeded through the rumble, the next step is sitting down with your therapist and letting them know that you took steps in your own recovery. You have evaluated the many diagnoses, including the diagnoses the therapist issued, and found that there are elements missing or there are elements of the diagnose that was overwrought. After you discuss with your therapist the potentials or the elements of the diagnose that was misunderstood you both can then work toward reaching an overall view of what is really go on in your life. It is important that you take notes if you have difficulty staying focused, or if you lack education, you might want to get a love one to help you with the research, notes and discussing the problem with your therapist. When we know what is going on, and what we are dealing with inside…This is a part of understanding the problem and how it connects to the people around you is if you understand what is going on within your mind, and then you can explain this to your friends and loved ones, helping them to understand. After we see where the problem lies we can then move onto the next step and start accepting that there is a problem. Dealing with the problems is your next step, which takes understanding. If you do not have understanding then the problem will only regress. Tell your loved ones and friends that you are working toward treatment and it would be helpful if they too work with you to help you find a recovery in your mental health problems. If there is no recovery, then they can work with you, understanding that you will have symptoms erupt from time to time and they will know which step to take to helping you cope.

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