There are many experts claiming to have all the answers for controlling anger. The problem is not all persons with anger act out in the same way. Anger is something we all experience in our lifetime. The problem is not all of us can deal with our emotions appropriately. Some of us when angered will confront the person that upset us, while others will wait for a time before going back to the person and confronting them, only exploding while doing so. Anger is an emotion that explodes when someone frightens us, threatens us, betrays, obstructs, disregards us, or harms us in some way. When this happens, a person will often strike out or ignore the problem until it burns deep in the person’s soul and causes an explosion. We can see that if someone is attempting to harm us our natural instincts tell us to fight. If the possibility is available for us to leave the presence of the human being without harm, then we often resort to this method first. However, in most cases, we are not able to walk away then it is time to pull out the sword and battle. If we do not have, anger pushes us to protect then we are in a world of trouble. It takes a real person to walk away from a fight, but what if your back is against the wall. How are you going to handle it? Effective talk can go a long way in a fight. If you know how to use your words with assertiveness, you can walk away from most battles. However, if you do not have this ability your fist better be up and ready to attack. One of the best solutions I found for avoiding both anger and harm is to remove myself permanently from bad influences and environments. This not only prevents problem it also helps me to function accordingly in life. The problem is we cannot always avoid persons that disrespect us, betray us, cheat us, lie to us, or even threaten us. Therefore, we must learn a way to use our anger positive, rather than continue a way that makes matters worse. We can see all the elements that invoke anger when we travel, at home, at school and so forth. There is no way to escape problems, or people that annoy us, therefore, we are a system of angry people needing anger management skills. When a person is angry, his physical tells him or her that a threat is made against the being. The body will respond, acting out with accelerated palpitations of the heart, the pupils flare, the breath increases or decreases, and our tone is louder when we speak. The body will tell us with dry mouth and tension of the body that we are mad. If two people engage, in an angry moment, it is best to step back and deal with the problem once you have both calmed down. If a person has angry issues it is, best to tell the person I will talk with you later, since this is going nowhere. Try to use positive talk to calm the person, rather than joining in the heated dispute. If the person has, a problem with anger the last thing you want is to get hurt mentally, verbally, or physically. Anger depends on the person’s attitude, and if that person is negative, you can bet his or her level of anger will be out of control. A person with anger problems will often attack by insulting you verbally, striking you physically, or mentally belittling you. If you are dealing with this type of person, you will need to learn techniques to deal with this person, unless you plan to leave them behind. Most of this type of person views the world as a source of evil. The entire world around them is responsible for the person feeling angry, since the actions forced them to think this way. In light, this person is correct to a degree; however, he or she has not learned how to manage their anger. When a person feels like this, they often neglect seeing that their success is a failure in many cases because of their behaviors. Therefore, we need them to see that anger management is controlling anger.

Controlling your anger is not always easy. It is important when a person has anger problems to try to talk to the person. Avoid loosing your temper yourself since this will only cause another problem. When a person has anger issues then that person puts others in danger and if we loose our control then we have a seriously chaotic situation that could lead to violence. If you have a child that has anger issues, it makes since to keep the chain of communication open. Sit your child down and talk with him or her attempting to find out what is making the child frustrated. Do not wait until the child is out of control and then try to talk. This only fuses the person often. Wait until the child cools down and then ask him or her what they feel caused the interruption. You might want to search your own area of contact with the child to see if anything you said or did made the child angry. This will help you to avoid this the next time you and your child are together. My child had anger problems and he was told to take a walk or a cool down period before addressing the issues. Of course, my child had mental illnesses underlying the anger and this contributed to the problems we endured. Self-talk and talking is always helpful when we are dealing with anger. Try to find the source of the anger by talking through the problem. Some recommend the angered person counts to 10 or 15, however if there is an underlying cause then this does not always work. The best solution is finding what works for you. It is also recommended that the child play a game, such as PlayStation, Nintendo or other game console and play until your anger ceases. Again, this works for some of us, but not all of us. A great technique I found valuable was drawing the source of your anger if possible. Writing, self-talk, talk, art, and music has proven in my experience to be more effective verses the other types of techniques offered. Exercise is also great. Running around the block, riding a bike, or going for a walk has proven helpful for eliminating anger for some individuals. Dance is great for relieving anger. Dance is a natural source of getting in touch with your feeling. If you ever wondered what the term she’s got soul means, well when you dance, feel the music and adhere to the steps of the beat then you got soul. There is nothing like the boogie fever since it relieves stress, tension, anxiety and makes your body and mind feel good since you did something constructive. If you must vent your frustration on something, get a punching bad, or else beat the heck out of your pillow. Some great advice came from health fitness experts when they advice me to enlist my child in Kick Boxing, Boxing, or Wrestling. This is said to teach the person control. Karate is another recommended source for helping a person deal with anger. The problem is when we are dealing with anger; we must get the other person to cooperate. Since most persons angered will find an excuse why the techniques provided to them does not work, it is important to get them to understand their anger, the problems and how the techniques can benefit them if they apply them selves. Crying is good for relieving stress and anger also; however, this is not always suitable for everyone. My children were raised understanding that it is ok to cry regardless of gender. Therefore, we need to teach our children regardless of gender that it is ok to express your emotions and feelings. That is not a disgrace; rather it is a developing of character strategy that works best for us all. Emotions when suppressed will create more problems for the people in society; therefore, it is important to address your feelings and emotions when they arise. Dealing with the problems when they arise is the best solution for dealing with emotions. Controlling your anger is not always easy, but it is possible.

When you are conquering anger, you are taking control of your life. We all lose control from time to time, but if anger is getting the best of you each time you are rejected, frightened, or interrupted emotional then there is obviously a problem existing. If you feel, you have a problem controlling your anger you might need anger management therapy or mental health services. You might even visit your doctor to see if a medical condition is not contributing to your anger. It depends on the person, but in most instances, we all deal with distresses, stress, and aggravation most of our lives. It is learning how to deal with it that counts. Anger is an emotion than can cause us more trouble that what existed causing the problem in the first place. Self-control is often needed if two or more people are involved in a conflict. If more than one person is angered in this group then problems will occur if both parties are striking out at each other. Problems often get deeper when anger bursts occur. When anger is controlling our society, we will always have crimes, abuse, violence, health issues, heart attacks, mental illnesses, and so forth. As you can see, nothing good comes from uncontrolled anger. After careful study the statistics of angry emotions has concluded that all of us have the ability to kill, harm, injure, or sabotage another person (s) life. When a person is angry is often a result of threatened emotions, such as hurt of our self-importance, rejections, difficult to deal with prospects, and antagonistic flight of the imaginations. Most of us are selfish and will often consider self rather than considering others first. When we do not get our way sometimes, we might blow a fuse and strike at the target that made us mad. Our actions often prove failure since it leads to more problems. If both parties are screaming at each other it often instills additional anger that builds up and remains there until the opportunity is available to blow another fuse. This goes on and on and nothing is resolved. Our countries have a higher divorce rate than ever and it is often because the couples could not come to a term of agreement. Now if one person out of each home is using their head in the heat of the moment then we have a hope. We can see in one example how anger got in the way and caused a major problem. A couple is off work for the day and the man is irritable and snaps as his wife. His wife looses her cool and shouts at the husband calling him a stupid jerk. She continues to scream at him telling him that he does not respect her and finally he looses his cool and joins in the screaming match. The two argue and scream at each other for short time and then the wife turns on her heels and storms in the bedroom slamming the door behind her. She yells through the door, by the way you are sleeping on the couch tonight jerk. Now if the wife would have said honey you seem irritable is there something I can do to ease your mind. Is there a problem we can work through together? What do you think would happen if the tables were turned and the wife approached the husband lovingly and offering her support? The couple would be sleeping together in their bedroom enjoying a peaceful rest most likely. We can look at another example were the anger is a little more out of control. For example, what if the wife is menstruating and she is irritable and her husband is tired of her rejecting him. Now he approaches his wife and calls her a selfish witch. She shouts at him and tells him he is not respecting her feelings, and he then starts shouting back at the wife. The wife gets mad at her husband and slaps him across the face, punching and kicking him as her anger increases. Now we see we got a serious problem in front of us, and one or the other is leaving because they are tired of the other. Now if the couple would have took a deep breath and stayed away from the other it might have proved effective later. However, if the husband would have been supported to his wife’s emotions during her monthly cycle we would most likely had good results and a problem on top of the existing problem would not exist. Uncontrolled anger is selfish and it hurts others, therefore we must all learn how to manage our anger and emotions.

When you are conquering anger, you are taking control of your life. We all lose control from time to time, but if anger is getting the best of you each time you are rejected, frightened, or interrupted emotional then there is obviously a problem existing. If you feel, you have a problem controlling your anger you might need anger management therapy or mental health services. You might even visit your doctor to see if a medical condition is not contributing to your anger. It depends on the person, but in most instances, we all deal with distresses, stress, and aggravation most of our lives. It is learning how to deal with it that counts. Anger is an emotion than can cause us more trouble that what existed causing the problem in the first place. Self-control is often needed if two or more people are involved in a conflict. If more than one person is angered in this group then problems will occur if both parties are striking out at each other. Problems often get deeper when anger bursts occur. When anger is controlling our society, we will always have crimes, abuse, violence, health issues, heart attacks, mental illnesses, and so forth. As you can see, nothing good comes from uncontrolled anger. After careful study the statistics of angry emotions has concluded that all of us have the ability to kill, harm, injure, or sabotage another person (s) life. When a person is angry is often a result of threatened emotions, such as hurt of our self-importance, rejections, difficult to deal with prospects, and antagonistic flight of the imaginations. Most of us are selfish and will often consider self rather than considering others first. When we do not get our way sometimes, we might blow a fuse and strike at the target that made us mad. Our actions often prove failure since it leads to more problems. If both parties are screaming at each other it often instills additional anger that builds up and remains there until the opportunity is available to blow another fuse. This goes on and on and nothing is resolved. Our countries have a higher divorce rate than ever and it is often because the couples could not come to a term of agreement. Now if one person out of each home is using their head in the heat of the moment then we have a hope. We can see in one example how anger got in the way and caused a major problem. A couple is off work for the day and the man is irritable and snaps as his wife. His wife looses her cool and shouts at the husband calling him a stupid jerk. She continues to scream at him telling him that he does not respect her and finally he looses his cool and joins in the screaming match. The two argue and scream at each other for short time and then the wife turns on her heels and storms in the bedroom slamming the door behind her. She yells through the door, by the way you are sleeping on the couch tonight jerk. Now if the wife would have said honey you seem irritable is there something I can do to ease your mind. Is there a problem we can work through together? What do you think would happen if the tables were turned and the wife approached the husband lovingly and offering her support? The couple would be sleeping together in their bedroom enjoying a peaceful rest most likely. We can look at another example were the anger is a little more out of control. For example, what if the wife is menstruating and she is irritable and her husband is tired of her rejecting him. Now he approaches his wife and calls her a selfish witch. She shouts at him and tells him he is not respecting her feelings, and he then starts shouting back at the wife. The wife gets mad at her husband and slaps him across the face, punching and kicking him as her anger increases. Now we see we got a serious problem in front of us, and one or the other is leaving because they are tired of the other. Now if the couple would have took a deep breath and stayed away from the other it might have proved effective later. However, if the husband would have been supported to his wife’s emotions during her monthly cycle we would most likely had good results and a problem on top of the existing problem would not exist. Uncontrolled anger is selfish and it hurts others, therefore we must all learn how to manage our anger and emotions.

How does anger play a role in Domestic Violence? Simply put most persons that abuse their spouse in this situation are angry due to the antisocial disorder underlying the persons mind. Anger is one of the leading symptoms of personality disorders, which include paranoid schizophrenia, schizoid, antisocial personality, psychopathic, histrionic, sociopath and so forth. Most of the persons that are abusive in relationships have antisocial behaviors personalities. The antisocial personality type often attacks when he or she is drunk or under the influence of drugs. This is not true in all instances, but it is true in most. Antisocial personality types often disregard rules and regulations and often feel they are authorized to do so. Antisocial personality types are controlling and if you are not conforming to their authority, they often vent their anger in a controlling or violent manner. Antisocial personality types will humiliate, intimidate, brutally abuse physically, mentally belittle, and it never stops. This type of individual has never been proven a candidate for recovery. In other words, men that batter their wife in relationships are most likely going to continue until someone dies. It is not wise to engage with these types, as there is rarely a chance of hope. This type will often beat a person, until death becomes the focus. This means someone will die, since this person will become angrier through the years, and often rarely ask for help. Even if he or she does get help, it often fails. I do not recommend starting a relationship with this type of person. The signs are deranged look or expressions, laughing for no apparent purpose, laughing at a situation where a person was harmed, outbursts of anger for no reason, and so forth. This type is superficial and will often lead you to believe he or she is a model to society, when behind closed doors the predator appears. Hate is the underlying source of this person (s) anger, and hate has proven to kill. A deep-seated jealousy is also underlying the anger issues within these types of individuals. Many of these type of angry persons will often take drugs, including cocaine, crack, marijuana, and so forth. They often over succeed the limit of alcohol consumptions and this only increases the odds of them blowing up in a rage. One example can be seen in a small town dubbed Dowagiac, Michigan. The person attempted to kill several women, and was allowed to walk the streets. Little help was provided to this person, and often his outrageous attacks were simply because he could not control the persons involved. The victims were left without justice, and a few even believed that he would change. To date he is sitting in the county jail on a number of charges, including assault of a police office and a hit and run. The police according to witnesses claims that the perpetrator had a weapon, and was drunk when fled and eluded the police and marijuana was also found in the vehicle. This person had an ongoing history of brutally hurting others, and the justice system let those victims down, which led to more anger problems.
Another example of anger is borderline personality types. These people when feeling abandoned will attack others. Sometimes they are physically abusive, while most times they are verbally and mentally abusive. All a person has to do is go to work and when he or she returns home, most likely she or he will be accused. The person might even call the workplace of the mate numerous times to verify that he or she was not abandoned. This is another type of angry person that rarely recovers, and like the antisocial personality types, these types are just as dangerous and manipulative. Paranoid types are also dangerous and manipulative and their anger can never be predicted. In most cases, these types act out on voices outside the head, or psychotic breaks of the mind. Like the antisocial types, the paranoid type rarely has justifiable reason for their behavior. In most cases, it is merely a control issue. This means if the person is out of control he or she will react angrily and violently.